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Circulo de Vida
Circulo de Vida

Episode · 1 year ago

Shelf to Self development

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode I talk with my good friend Rob Cardenas a successful entrepeneur and Personal Development junkie about the concept of Shelf Development to Self Development, we also talk about the importance of taking action, note taking, pivoting, good communication and relationships. This has been one of my favorite episodes to date and It's full on gold nuggets everywhere, this is one of those where you might want to get out your journal and take some notes! I hope you enjoy this episode and If you do please Share with a friend, comment, like, and rate it with 5 stars so other people know we are sharing value on this podcast! 

See you on the next one!

The Magic by Rhonda Byrne- https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1451673442/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+magic&qid=1606088750&sr=8-1

Yeah, welcome everybody to a secret area and in today's episode. I know haven't done an episode in a little while. Don't don't judge me. Okay, don't be on my stuff. Not just kidding. I haven't been uploading as much podcast as I'd like to. It's been a mind battle's been a struggle of selfdevelopment and self trust, self confidence, a lot of self isssues that I've been struggling with. But you know what, this is why I credit this podcast. So we can talk about this topics, we can talk about self debiliment, we can talk about the growth and and to show up, you know, to be there and to just do it, you know, get that night spirit on that three percenter mindset of a it doesn't matter what already happened. What matters is that you hear now and what you're gonna do now. So now, what I'm going to do is that I'm going to have an incredible conversation with my friend Rob Card and as this man, wait until you hear him. He has a very interesting topic for today, and it's Selfdevelopment, to know, shelf development, to selfdevelopment. Was that the topic? Rop Yes, yes, so let me introduce this man to you. I met him in my community, the daily awakening. Right. He's from Michigan, right turn outside of Detroit. Wow, this man. He has opened so many restaurants, he has been with so many world class leaders, he has got so much knowledge inside of wind that every time he opens his mouth he just blows everyone away. He has in incredible ability to capture and remember moments and just bring him back to the now. That is just astonishing. So, Rob let's talk about this interesting topic that you brought up and let's hear it. Man, how are you doing today? What's up, my friend? I were the most colorful, or that colorful, but the most patterned shirt I own because I thought, yeah, I didn't know where to wear a shirt today. Or you know, if you don't have we're going to have a color so I wanted to dress up for you. That's it. Thank you, man, I appreciate it. So, yeah, so some of that has occurred to me recently and it was it was opposed to me about selfdevelopment, and you know how important it is everything else. And you know, one of the things that you mentioned our community, and we are you and I met through the daily awakening calls with stron g Murphy and if you haven't heard about it, please get with Louis Louise and you know he'll hook you up. But I've actually been a part of the daily Waking Group since the first week is started. So now we're at six hundred and eighty some episodes and I can't believe it, but my the thought of, you know, the shiny new object. Everybody wants something new. Everybody wants the like, you know, the greatest, the latest, whatever, you know, the the Buzzword, the you know, the quick, the quick, get rich quick, or the or the scheme or this or that. It occurred to me that, you know, I you know, I have a lot of stuff. I A lot of notes, I've been to a lot of events, I bought a lot of books. I try to, you know, you know, educate myself and say abreast of what's going on in the you know, and news and the media and on top of things. But you know, you have to put them in action, my friend. So that's kind of what I've been I'm working on this. You know this, you know, a podcast theme myself, shelf to self development. So we have, you know, I have all these books on the shelf. I mean like you know, some of the top ones and you know, but if you don't actually put the stuff into action, and I'm calling myself out, you know, I mean you have to actually read some stuff, you know, like listen. Listening versus hearing two different things, two different things. That can be a whole other topic, but it's it's a big deal where you know and you don't have to. You don't have to do big, big leaps. Everybody wants to. Actually, you know, just you know I'm going to do. I'm going to go, you know, zero hundred and sixty and three point five seconds. You don't really have to do that. You know, the power of Kais on. You know, I want one tenth of of you know, one percent, you know, getting better every day, to you know, to make incremental change. That's what's going to be the magic. So, you know, I often talked about Hashtag missit magic with our morning group because, you know, we tell ourselves morning misses because we know we don't really we might not. Actually, we wouldn't have been friends probably, you know, anywhere else in society. But we found a community that we found online and from all over the world. It is the most special group I've ever been a...

...part of, and you know that's why I'm here today with you. I mean I you know, it's just amazing. So that's kind of that's kind of like, you know, the better the basis. Yeah, man, it's very interesting that you bring up the action part and obviously it's going to show up into conversation because we all know that action is what gets those results. But on this past day's I've been thinking about it very, very hard. Why? Because I haven't been doing my podcast that that has had me like, Whoa, I started this movement, this action, this thing that a lot of people actually would love to be doing, and I got it, I'm not doing it. And then I started reading my journals. I got a lot of journals to from all the trainings that I've been on, and I was like, Whoa, I got all of this knowledge that change is lives. Definitely, one hundred percent can change everyone's life that reads it. But it's bottled knowledge. It's knowledge that I'm not using because, yeah, I recollected it, but when am I putting in into action in my day to day life? And you got it's very, very, very powerful when you start applying that knowledge that you've actually received over the years and you got a lot of it, so I want to hear more about it. Well, okay, so let me just say is so. It W it occurred to me also, is, as I have been reading, and I'm going to say this, reintroduced to thoughts, ideas, concepts. I started going over my journals and I can't stress it enough. I mean, and I call myself out again, I don't journal as often as I should. I am but I'm not going to kick myself in the you know what, because I've actually gotten so much better in the past year and, as I told you before, you know, when we spoke just before, I started catalog and look at and put tabs on my old journals with, you know, maybe the speaker or the the topic, and you know, I started a number, page number, so I can actually then quick and quick reference things when I'm, you know, either in front of somebody or with the group or UN a zoom and you know, it's there is no wrong way. You organize it how you want your own mind. I'm actually working on a new with a new computer program that actually is going to help me to do like a d model, especially it's a it's I don't know, place it like my mind is, which is extremely exciting. So that's something that's coming soon as well. But it's it's interesting because you know you don't know what you don't know, but when you journal and you when you realize that, it's like this isn't new stuff, like I'm hearing this same things it's been. Maybe it's got a new bow on it or this or that, but you know all you know. It's been said that you know your journals are your on cash checks. Rayhangen says that and it's it's true. I mean it's like you have all those ideas and I actually do like three columns. I'll just really quid when I read my notes, like I'll actually, you know, write down what I'm listening to. That I actually might write down my you know, a second column or you write down what, you know, what action I need to take or maybe a goal, and then I'm the small area on the far side or even know, the far left, depend upon the paper you have, if you have the little lines in the margin, that I might write down like like like some neither quick dates of what I want to accomplish that or, you know, maybe an additional action step. So I call like third column. Like you know, we're on tabling my idea and that just allows me to organize it. Again, do however you want, but it's just when I'm able to write down a couple little keywords or my own little, you know, cleigraphy or my own code or something, or then I when I'm going back and reviewing that I can actually get back to where my thought was. Because this is what happens. Is like you have so many thoughts per day that you don't even. You know, you can't even. You can't get them all, you can't remember them all. But I'm learning and I'm practicing, that's the keyword, practicing to actually get better at it every day. And it's crazy. Now you mentioned my hospitality background. I I'll remember, maybe not somebody's name from ten years ago, but I'll remember what they drank, you know, and I'll be able to actually give them their, you know, their cocktail the exact way or the type of wine that they had. And again, that just takes practice to you know. But you know, however you do it? I don't know what are some of the things that you do to try to remember things. Yeah, here we go. Here we go. I...

I turned off my microphone. I really take notes during training specially. I'm not a big journaling guy during my day to day I know it. I should add it to my daily habits because it is very good to remember everything. But how I how I take my notes and how I journal? I don't have really a style. I'm very creative with it. Sometimes, for example, out here a word like men, I don't know the how to make someone smile and I just draw a smiley face with a question mark. No, I try to save as much time and get as much information as I possibly can and as less words, because here's the thing. During a training, during a class, everything is going fast pace, time is not stopping. We know that, right. So how can I get the most value to pass on to other people? Because when I'm taking notes, I'm not thinking Josh on me, I'm thinking on, wow, this can serve so much people, and I take notes as if I were as if I were the teacher. So for me it's very, very important to to take sharable notes, to take notes that I can actually teach in a way, that that I can transmit the message and make it as mine, right, because there's something that showns always says, take my knowledge and use it for your own benefit. So I really really focus on that. Let me, let me check my notes. Oh, this is a perfect example for the people who are watching the video. I draw, I touch out, I do it's literally a thing I can to to get the message out and as few words as I can. So yeah, I'm very definitely I don't have a style of taking notes. I'm just very creative with them. Well, that's your style. Yeah, and again, that's what I'm saying. We're like, you know, use that other you know why I call third column, where you just basically you know however you can remember yourself. That's that's for you. I mean some people are righthanded, some people are lefthanded, some people you know, whatever you know. I don't know. Some people are curly, are some people don't, but you know, it's to s their own and whatever works for you, then do it. I mean, done is the new perfect. That's one of the big key phrases that I heard this year. That's, I one of my takeaways. Done is, Ye, perfect. I turned this off again. So talk to me a little bit more about this shelf knowledge. What what do you call this shelf knowledge, and why do you say it's selfdevelopment? Well, the whole idea really is to you know, the idea of shelf to self is put it into action. So you can buy the book, you can, you know, buy the program the video, the DVD, the Bluetooth, Yada, Yada. But if you don't put it into action and really make it sell, development, that it's that it's only as good as it, you know, as as the the amount that you paid for it. But yeah, yet I keep going back to some of the old classics, though. I mean, you know, but it's but it's really fun to be able to actually just just honestly, fifteen minutes, fifteen pages, just do it. I mean, I'm I'm still dealing with procrastination. I mean, you know, I come on, be honest. Everybody like just you know who's who procrastinates, you know are or they're scrolling through their technology or, you know, before that it used to be the you know, like just the TV and you know and videos, and you know you're going to always find stuff that you know get interrupted by. I find out, and you know I've found in my life you get you get complacent, you get busy. Right now I have, well, I have three kids and, you know, just got married. You know, it's exciting and everything else, but you know, with jobs and kids and their activities and everything else, you know, it gets it gets bogged out and you know, so you get it's easy to get complacent and then fall in line to whatever job you have or wherever, you know, what activities you're doing, and it becomes mundane. And I'll be honest, you have to break out of it. You have to break out of it, like we want so much more out of life. But it doesn't have to be the you know, the you know, the big right, the race car, the Big House on the shot on...

...the hill or by the beach or whatever. You know, it can and you can get there and he can be there, but you know, celebrate your little victories, celebrate the you know, the family that you have, I mean right now with you know all this. You know lockdowns, and right now Michigan's actually lockdown in some met fashions. So like the hospitality industry and hotels shows down for three weeks in Michigan again, and it's a real serious thing and people are people are hurting and people are also wanting that connection. I'm very blessed to have in ninety six year old grandmother and she's I just saw for her today and she's just like I'm going nuts because I want to get out. And fortunately she's not savvy with the computer, so she's not on zoom. She does go to my aunt's house like once a week and gets on, you know, and on a zoom with with people from Church and for Church and whatnot. But that, that willing, that eagerness to actually connect with people is so vital right now. So being grateful. That's a big buzz word for two thousand and twenty and as it should have been and should be forever, it makes a big deal. We actually have a friend that has a gratitude call at one o'clock every day and it's actually about the magic round the burn and I got to tell you, this is actually the exercizes in this book and actually allow me to start dreaming again, to start really envisioning things, and we need that. We need that connection. We need that. You know the goals, because again, be aware of the Munday, my friend. So if it's not a shelf, dust it off, pulled out, pick it up, put it into action. That's that's really what what I'm developing. Well, it's you said a lot of powerful things right there. One was the small winds. I think that, as humans, procrastination comes from wanting big wins. It's like Oh yeah, for me, for me it's I'm doing the podcast. Okay, it's not getting one hundredzero abuse, so I'm not going to do it again. It's like we don't celebrate those small winds and because we don't celebrate the small things we have in life, the important things, right, like senior son, seeing your mom, your wife, people forget about this and that's I think that it's when we start getting into the mundane because we don't celebrate the small things. We don't celebrate when we wake up and we see the sunshining. It's like wow, look at what a beautiful song. Let's celebrate today. It's there's a sun out, I'm breathing, let's celebrate this. No, but we always want something big, a big spectacular, a big day. Our Birthday are anniversary balance and say we wait for the big moments. And by wanting those big moments, that big hard a lambo right, we forget about Whoa I'm here right now. I'm with my friends, I'm with I'm alive, and that that goes directly into being grateful. We get into that and I'm having a breakthrough right now inside of me. It's like my procrastination comes from not celebrated. So not serbating those small wings, winds, not wings, from not being grateful, because that's another huge thing. That's why Daniella is doing so good with that called she's teaching people how to be grateful and through that book that is so powerful. Rob Can you show the book again? I don't have it with me for but for the people who are watching the the visual experience, the magic by Ronda Bird, I so encourage you to buy this book right now. I'm going to live a link to an Amazon shopping who's selling this book. It's just not in a philly link, just by the book. Really it's such a good book. That will get you in that gratitude state because, listen to the people, everything we do is based on the state that we are. So let's imagine this. Today I went out to the street. I had an amazing day. I met a lot of cool people. Wow, it was an amazing day. I am such a good dude. I'm a cool dude, but the other day, the next day I went and I fucked up something in work. Oh, I'm so stupid. What changed between yesterday and today that yesterday I was such a great person, a cool dude, and today I'm a stupid guy? It was the state you were in. So when you start...

...getting into this celebrating the small winds, the being grateful, you are changing your state, and this is something sewan Jim Murphy, so amazing that I gotta give the props to this dude that he just came into my mind. He's a state changer and we both know, rob that we can purposely change our state, therefore creating more connection, not only with other people, but with ourselves, with our mind. It's this is something so powerful because we all, we all need, we all crave that connection and a lot of times, tell me, if you've been in this situation that you're surrounded by people, yet you feel alone, it's because you don't have that intimacy with yourself, you don't have that connection with the higher you, with with your mind, with your subconscious right and again, it all rounds up and the small winds. If you're not grateful for the small things in your life, then you're not going to be grateful for the good things when they come. This you're always going to be waiting for some big AGG you're always going to be waiting for the perfect day, and the worst part about it is that probably it's never going to come. The Perfect Day. Rob Tell me if something in your wedding they didn't go wrong, at least one thing. Well, let me decide the one of the one of the things that went wrong was that nobody gave the bride to queue to actually start walking down the aisle. So she's actually upstairs and then she's like hearing the song, because we had planned it, but then she's like wait, wait, wait, wait, no, I mean that's my song. I mean I need to be walking out. And she was about, you know, three or four minutes behind actually starting to walk down the aisle to for the ceremony. So, yeah, no, I mean. Well, you want to talk about a pivot, you know, two thousand and twenty, and that's you know, I mean we have that, you know, change all of our plants, everything. You know, we had to cancel the hall and everything else. But the one thing we didn't want to cancel was our date. So we got married ten two thousand and twenty. And I got to tell you, and as we were ever reflected here in the last well, today's six weeks and and it's we basically we're like, you know, we kind of forgot about, you know, this challenge, this challenge that, and what we did. Oh well, we have to change, do this or we had, you know, fire that person in the higher this person, actually our efficient, texted us, what five days before and said that he couldn't do it. We're like what, it's such we need somebody to marry us. I mean it was. So yeah, a lot of things happened and we rolled with it. So I we really didn't remember all the crap because it was we had it at our house and our backyard. The weather was absolutely perfect in Michigan in October and it was, you know, we were made make sure we had tables far apart, a big huge ten the back, so, you know, social distance for for making sure people felt safe. We had food trucks so you know, people could just said appropriately a line and get their food. It went off rate and you know, at the bottom line is we wanted our date. We wanted to do it for ourselves and nobody else. And I'll be honest, as you get older and everything else, and if you can learn this as you get if you're younger, I mean do it for yourself first. It's not for anybody else, because you know what we could have pushed we could have said, you know, well, you know, we can't do this, we can do that. I had a lot of my family not feel safe and not come, and that's okay. They wish me well. They loved me. I was very, very blessed and very excited. I put it on zoom and I invited a lot of our our you know, our morning group and our gratitude group and you know. And so people are able to actually see it on zoom from all of the world and that was cool and I got to tell you that. But I almost didn't do it because I almost felt like, you know what I mean. You know they don't. You know, really they don't. You know, we're not like I've never met a blocking these people in person, but yet for almost two years for some of the group I'm you know, develop this relationship online and have more of a connection than some people I've known for twenty years. So it was very special to be able to actually feel the love, but show the love, and I wanted him...

...to be able to share the love in especially in two thousand and twenty. And so my bride and eye of this is both. This is around too for both of us and it was extremely special and we're we're not going to take any for granted anymore. We're just not. We're, you know, don't know excuses. So our law is going to be our love and we're going to do the best for our kids and for ourselves and just to be you know, I want to be a better dad. She must be a better mom, but we want to be, you know, better spouses to each other first and just you got to put yourself out there and you just got to roll with the punches. It's never going to be perfect. That's what we said. Done is the new perfect. You know, I mean, I don't have my story down pad, I don't have all the answers, but the circle of people that I'm around, though, and the you know, you talked about changing your state. Let me just say I've wanted to actually in this house that had been in now a couple of years. I want some blackout shades and because so I can actually maybe sleep extra hour, because the sun comes directly in and this time of year, right now, in November, the sun at you know, at sunrise, it comes directly through my window and hits me Right Square in the face and I'm okay, I'm an early riser anyway. But you know, I love the sunrise. It's amazing. I mean I used to wake up and go running and you know when I was a runner, that's another story, but it's you know, I could choose. It's like, Oh God, you know, it's like I gotta wake up or this, that, whatever, and you know it's like, you know, black, black, my eyes, what not. I absolutely love it. I absolutely love having this son actually wake me up in the morning. I don't need to send an alarm. I do occasionally just because, yeah, I want to make sure I'm you know, I'm time for you know, either call or or get enough for the kids, but the sun way be up. You said again a lot of things, and the first thing you said that caught my attention really hard was to pivot. It's something we've been listening we've been hearing a lot, I think the past three months you, pw you. Tony Robins has been all over it. Dean Grescio, she has been all over it. pivoting a lot of times we think we'RE gonna we're gonna do something a certain way, it's gonna turn out perfectness. Oh Yeah, yeah, I'm going to start my career. I'm going to open this new restaurant. This is the topic I'm this is the the theme I'm wanting for it. This the location. Then covid hits, everything change. What the fuck am I going to do now? I was simply are three almost four months ago, never imagining I would be here, and then suddenly quarantine. I went crazy. I said, okay, I cannot be here anymore. I got plans, I saw them here, but it's time to pivot. Let's do something different. I when I move here out to New York, first start, I don't know, new career. I'm a real estate now also in the word marketing. I I never would have imagined I would be getting into real estate. I like real estate, I just never saw myself in it. But pivoting, it's such an advantageous thing to do, because here's a thing family. It's never gonna turn out like you want. It's a truth. It's most probably not gonna be the how you imagined it. Opportunity has a very interesting thing about it, and it's that it a lot of times come from a different door, in a different shape and color than you thought you would have it. You thought you would going to get rich by trading right. It's a hot topic, and then suddenly you realize that what you really liked was making cotton shirts, and you started making cotton shirts and your thing and you got a big ass company. Now it's called pivoting. People do it. Don't be afraid of change. Don't be afraid of doing something different. Now, another thing you said what rub was do it for yourself first. It's not for anybody else. I'm Young, I'm twenty, I'm turning twenty one and two months, four months, three months. So, oh, it's something that I'm I'm getting to hang on now, and especially to me, it comes in and love. Right, I'm crazy with relationships. I love being in love. I hate being out of love too, because it's like it's...

...a balance. But that's that's something me, you know. But the thing is that a lot of the times I want to be in a relationship because I want to do something with someone else. I want to do something conjunction. Right. That that union, that partnership. But I've noticed in the in the couple past months that a lot of the Times I take that as as an excuse to do something for someone else and not for me. Recently, I want it. I've always wanted to open a clothing brand. I started with the idea of three years ago. I let it go. I don't know why. It's something I do. I start something, I don't finish it, then I take it back again and I continue working on it. But this is something personal. Maybe the girl will listen to this and it's she'll say, okay, she's talking about me, that Dick. But I was reading this girl and and I was talking about my ideas of the clothing brand and I was like, Oh, yeah, I want to do this, but I don't know, I've never liked I started it on my own, but I want to do it with someone else and I started like leaning on her to start the brand and then I noticed, way I'm not doing it for myself, I'm doing it for her. She wants it, she wants to do it. I want to do it but I'm doing it more for her, because if I really wanted to do it, I would do it for myself. So when you said that phrase, it's not for anybody else, it really hid me because I do that a lot. I I try to impress people by doing things for them without first doing it for me. So thank you for that one. I think it's going to Ristin night with a lot of the young people who are listening to this podcast, because it's something that I think we deal with. This just part of the growth in becoming aware and the experience right. For me, I've I think I have a lot of knowledge for my age. I like the experience. Yeah, I know you do. And again this was awesome, though. I mean you get to actually say in your s make his name mistakes as you can. You know, obviously don't be you know, make sure they're not too serious, but I mean, but you know, but try and ask why? Ask. That's it. That's going to buzz word. Yeah, that's yeah, that's another one. So these are the two books I've got I'm actually reading right now. I've o what I already finished, but I mean I'm rereading it though by it. It's interesting, though, but I asked why. My high school principle. You know, I laughed when read the book and everything else, but because he asked to me. He's like why do you ask why? You asked why so many times and I said I well, I said, I just want to push the OPLOPE. Well, we've been doing this for twenty years this way. I'm like why? Like why, why can't we do it this way? And there's been a couple things that he added has on. You know that. I remember in high school and he actually when I graduated and even years later he said, he says, you know what he goes. I like it. I like it the way you you suggested, and we even doing it. And then even in my twenty year reunion. Now it's thirty year reunion this year. Was this year, but they've been doing a couple things in my old high school the same way that when you know the group and the Sud Council that I was involved with, because it was never just me that, but they now those became the new traditions and they've been doing it the new way for thirty years now. I mean again, it's all and how you want to present it and everything else, but challenge you know, go ahead and sit. It's okay to challenge things, I mean, you know, and have good discussions. I think so. I think right now, though, we're so, so, so charged up about, you know, the politics, and then you know and you know either you know this covid and this that, whatever that you know. You can't have a civil conversation anymore and that's unfortunate and we need to really get back to that. You know, and have that just that stability and understand that, you know, there are going to be people with difference of opinions and different backgrounds and ideas, and they're they're in the same thing. They're in the same boat. They're trying to challenge they're trying to ask why I and themselves ask why I of you know where they're at and what they're doing, and as long as we understand that, you know, this world will be a better place. And you know so in your s Louis, have at it, my friend, you...

...know, and if I can actually just be you know, you know, help on some of my experience that you know that you could actually maybe do something quicker. That's really my goal right now and I'm going back actually into my s through my notes, through my journals, through some experiences and quickly playing them in my mind to actually help with my road map for my future. And it's been fun. And I also am hanging out with you and some other people that are younger, and it's fun because it's making my mind spark again. You know, I mentioned to you. Know, I mean I fail, I fear the business I love if I failed, you know, but I'll be honest, instance just part of my journey, as part of who I am, as part of where I we you know how I'm where I'm at, and that's okay. And then and there's there's some really good things that have come out of some of those failures. You know, I just we talked about it. I just got married again and I we both couldn't be happier. I mean, you know, it's unfortunate that, you know, the first time around didn't work out, but some great experiences, some great loves and you know, we have wonderful children and I wouldn't I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it. I've grown and I've gotten better and you know, that's all you, anybody, can do. You'RE gonna you're going to have some, you know, like some things along the way that are going to be bumpy, but it's how you actually, you know, dust off and pick pick yourself back up and and, you know, make it happen or make something of yourself. But I really can't stress enough, though, do it for yourself first. You know, too often we're always trying to, you know, measure up or impress. It's not really worth it, I mean, it really isn't. I mean, you know, I mean I just, you know, be a good human being, you know, and then try to, you know, just get better yourself and challenge yourself, but also challenge yourself with the people that you are hanging out with, because, as you know, you truly are the you know, the sum of pretty much the five people you hang out with all the time. And I'm blessed to have found this, you know, morning group and it gets US recharged and our mindset set up for the day. PODCASTS like this and talking with you, you know, every time, I know we talked, I get something out of it and so that I can actually, you know, I'm writing notes right now I self, you know, where as a just, you know, full little bullet points and everything else, the clothing line thing. Ironically, I have some friends that are involved with some of their own clothing lines and, you know, I actually thought about, you know, putting together our little another line, if you will, last week because, you know, I I love direct some of my own sayings and some of my own thoughts and and because I think I think it's pretty good. I think that most of us, you know, would agree that. You know, you need to actually, you know, be able to do something, pick up you know, pick up a good book to motivate yourself music. I mean, you know, it's really interesting because you talked about how Sean is, you know, Sean g Murphy has changed and everything else. So when we started this morning misfit group, it was a word of the day and he expanded on a word and then it just got into more stories and more interactive and we know, we have the rest of US shared and and now, after a forgetting how the exactly it was, like it was after six hundred or he started actually saying nothing, doing music and everything else and work, you know, and he was learning from Tony Robbins and and I'm not afraid to say it shows a whole me. And so, you know, you can learn it. I learned. That means you know who's young, kids can learn whatever. Definitely, definitely, definitely man and I remember when Sean started standing up, and I remember that he said, why have I been doing all of this calls sitting down if when I'm on stage I'm standing? Yeah, and it really changed his state and it changed our state and it's definitely small tweaks can make a big difference. I agree one hundred percent on that. It's very, very true. Now, something you said earlier to was feel the love, show the love, shared the love. This is something I cannot stress more about and it's mainly because I don't show the love. I feel the love, I shared the love, I don't show it. So it's something that, if you're listening to this, feeled the love, shared a love and showed the love and shared the love. But I think most importantly, and it's mainly...

I just think this because I don't do it, is showing the love, like how much people are in your life that are important to your family members that you don't show them that you care about them. Maybe it's your partner that you've been with for a couple of years now and it's gotten monotonous and you don't you don't show that that love anymore. It's so important to show that affection towards people because it's free. That's that's it's great. It's literally you don't have to pay absolutely anything to say Ay, I love you too, to go and take her out to the park and have a nice conversation, to ask about how has been your day, and it's it's so important because if we're seeking connection, and we know that during this time specifically, we're in the middle of a pandemic. This hasn't happened since like one thousand nine hundred and forty, I think it was. It's yeah, one thousand nine hundred and eighteen. It's a rare occasion. So right now we're in a disconnect. Even though we got social media and all that bullshit, it's not enough. We need that real connection with people, and I the most effective way of doing that is showing the love to people, to actually reaching out. Hey, how are you, how have you been house the family? How? Why are you doing lately? I don't do this and I just had a conversation with my mom. I think was like three or four days ago. She was like Hey, call your grandpa from time to time. You know they die and after they died there's no coming back from it. And I was like Shit, you're right, I don't, because I don't call anybody, I don't sex anybody. I'm really I talk a lot, but I'm not a person to reach out. I don't. I've never been like that. I'm kind of closed in that sense, and lately it has been like reaching to me, like damn, Louis, like there's so much people in your life that actually care about you, because they do show it, but it's like if they're talking to a wall, and I feel bad because it's like I'm not, I'm not. That would be in the Houl low do you say this word returning? I'm not returning that affection towards them. But why not? Why? Why do we close our feelings towards the people who we care about, or even if it's a new relationship? A lot of times, and and this is more for the young generation, because the old people, like Robbie, what's no, no, no, I'm like kidding, but yeah, like Aust people, also young people that are still like understanding this thing about love and don't have a lot of experience, and I'm a pisces. I don't know if this has anything to do about it. Robs, are you up? These too are so sex so you understand me a lot of this. We're sentimental. I think we're very emotional. So I I I lean a lot towards the love side. So you're going to hear me in a lot of podcasts complaining about love, not complaining, but just wishing my love situation was better. And I know we will get better with time. But you know, when when we're getting into this of meeting someone new, I know that we feel like we've been let down. We're probably this happened. Yeah, you're totally right, it happens a lot. But I feel that a lot of times we close ourselves to showing our feelings and showing our love because someone else in the past let us down. So when you said feel the love, showed the love, shared the love, that's what I thought about, like, because I know in my circle, it's like my young people circle, there's a lot of people who are scared of falling in love because someone else fucked them up in the inside and they closed themselves completely to feeling and showing and it's I know it's very detrimental to them. So, rob what could you say, because I'm not in the best situation to talk about it. No, but you know, yeah, no, I mean, I don't know you have a specific question, but no, no, I have some thoughts, just some advicens on that. So let me okay, thinking back, I'm basically I always try to put myself out there and it's funny. Actually all you really have...

...to do is just be real and have a real conversation. You know, if you know, you find somebody alike. You know you you're nervous, your maybe your palms are sweaty. You know, your our kids and whatever. I mean, everybody has their own thing, whatever, but I'm always had the opportunity to actually just be, you know, be me and just say, you know, say hello and everything else, and I put myself out there's, you know, early on to basically, you know, get let down. But I look back and I think it's like, you know, that wasn't really meant to be. And sometimes when you know there are, there are reasons why doors close in your life, whether it be your relationship or a job or, you know, different things. You don't know what you know God has in store for you. So they know something that maybe shut. You have to be just open minded to actually truly just say, you know, maybe the maybe that wasn't really meant to be. Maybe there is some being better. And if you believe that, I guarantee there will be. So you mention, you commented about you know, you kind of maybe have. You're basically worried about you know, setting, you putting yourself out there because you got hurt before. It's it is going to happen. But now I also think that communication is so vital in any way, and even even now at my age and second marriage and everything else. You know, it's one of my favorite quotes and it's been ever since I was in college, so in my early s Alfred Lord Tennyson and he he said the word, even the most contradictory word, preserves contact. It is silence which isolates the word, even the most contradictory word. So you know, you can argue, you can, you know, have discussions, but if you're able to, you know, at least be open and honest with each other and tell you tell each other how you feel. That's preserving contact. Now the yelling, the shouting, the whatever, the social media, you know, I kidd in the you know, the keyboard and this and now whatever, and and and, or believing what other people that aren't even involved in the situation, what they're saying, because I think we buy into all of that other rhetoric and the other people and the other stuff that's happening and somebody else's comments. Or you trust, maybe you know, you think it's your best friend and that person got hurt and then you present your situation and you know, and I'll be honest, they're going to be like, Oh, yeah, you know what, that happened to me too, and you know, yeah, that's going to happen to you. Oh yeah, that's going to be that's exactly what's going to happen. No, it's not. How are you kidding me? It's like it's not. Every situations different, but we trust our advisors and sometimes they're really close. And not that you can't get good advice, but we made mountains out of molehills. If you literally just talked to somebody up front, honest, in a nice tone, with no judgment, you're gonna go so much farther to resolve the conflict and realize it wasn't that big to begin with, I almost guarantee I wouldn't have been divorced. And so it can happen in your s s. You know, and I know people s and s that you know that issue and people have issues. You all have issues. But we listen to all this stuff, you know that it doesn't really make any it's not even it's all small stuff. You know, don't sweat the small stuff. It's all small stuff. So again, the word, even the most contradictory or preserves contact. You know, if you're able to talk about it in a nice, you know, professional, easygoing manner, you can resolve it and if you can do that you can move forward, you can pivot and make the best of the situation and then decide as together. There's nothing better than to actually find I had what Carolyn and I almost passed on our love together because we had kids. We were both, you know, within a couple years of divorce. Thinking it's like yeah, well, you know second, second marriages. People said, Oh, you got to be careful. You know, we've had some friends that you know that unfortunately they couldn't. They had his shoes and they couldn't actually see that, you know, this was something real and even getting engaged in going forward. We're like, you know what, we're worth it, like we're worth it. Maybe it won't work out, but...

...damn it, we believe that. We we think we can do this and we love each other and are and we got our kids together and they found to be good friends and and, you know, and again with our wedding date, like we didn't want to change because of covid you know, we wanted our ten, two thousand and twenty. That's just something that we talked about and we thought about and you know, and so we we were grateful. So, you know, we felt the love. We showed the love with, you know, we shared it with our friends, our family first, and then, you know, with technology, I was able to show the love, you know, at our zoom for the wedding, and that's that's sharing it and we're sharing it every day. We're opening our hearts in our home to friends and family when we can, you know, in small groups now, but at the same time on zoom and everything else. And I can't even tell you how many, how many, you know well, wishes I got from my family and friends and from, you know, you're in far the thank you for actually showing, you know, the zoom ceremony and, you know, we had again, we were socially distance and, you know, outside and everything else, but it was, it was the event for almost all of our guests of the year, because there's not many events happening. You know, we were a small group, but yet, you know, the same time, they were just like this was this was really awesome, and thank you very much for including you know. And as much as they gave us, you know, are rather as much as we gave, they gave us much more in return, and you have to do that. I was very blessed to have some childhood friends to be in attendance as well. And nothing more special than being able to actually connect with people. And it doesn't take much, you said it. It just, you know, picking up that phone send in a text. You know, I challenge you that. You know, just send out three, three well wishes a day, three messages, say, in contact, and it doesn't have to be something big, you know, you don't have to actually, you know, spend it, you know, an hour talking to somebody and whatever. It can be just something simple or something in your day that reminds you of somebody else. Those, those are that, those are God, God sidences you. Basically, something comes in your head, act on it, write it down, don't delay, because there's, you know, so many thoughts that happen in our head every day that there's there's a reason why you've been reminded of something, and I'm learning to act on those more than ever and I'm I'm going to succeed more than I ever have because of it. I know it, I just know it. I love the the God sidence and for the people who have never heard this word, it's a God coincidence. Basically, we believe that nothing happens for any sine H hi. It's not by chance. Trust me, everything has a purpose. Every thought that comes across your head is purposely put there. where, where do you think they come from? Really think about it. They come from somewhere far, far away. Then it's not the next room, trust me, it's not the next room. Everything, every thought we have, is for a reason, and that that that you said was perfect, rob there's a reason why you've been reminded of something like, Oh, my computers out of battery. Oh Wow, but yeah, let I'll strap you this up, all right, but really quick though. I will say, though, but it's also, again, I can't stress enough, it's who you hang out with, because like talking to you and talking through there are, you know, there are mutual friends. That's what gets you going and that's what motivates you. You have to find that, find those five people, find those five songs, find those five good feels. That really just motivates you and get keep you going and gets you going and you know, start sparking all that in your head, because when you do that, the world is yours. Yes, yes, wow, rob this has been such an amazing podcast. I loved every second of it and I hope you guys who are listening and watching this right now also enjoyed and got some good notes from it, because I definitely did. I got some good ass notes from it. So, rob thank you for coming on with me, thank you for sharing just a little bit about yourself. And Trust me, people, this man has a lot of more layers than what you just heard and I will be bringing him back...

...con on another episode, because there's a lot. Just a sneak bick. He has open twenty eight restaurants. That's we're gonna talk about it eventually, but, Yo, he has a lot of layers and I want to digest everything he has on his head and we're gonna pick on it because as this was a wonderful episode. Any time, rob. Thank you, thank you for coming on here, thank you for your words of knowledge, for your good advice. Trust me, I took a lot of it to hard this. I had an awakening during this podcast. So wow, if you like this episode, please like common share and rate with a five star. Radis and also other people know that we are sharing bother you on this podcast and you and if you think that we gave some value to you, please let us know what phrase, what word, what part, was of the most value to you, and we will reach out back to you and we will do anything for you. Literally. We Love You, guys. Thank you for listening, thank you for tuning in and thank you, rob, for this amazing opportunity to have this nice conversation with you. I Love You, man, Louise Family. Thank you very much for siate. Yes, we'll see you all on the next adventure. This was Leez Martinez, founder of a CITUELA Viva, together with rob C cardiness, and we will see you together on the next episode. See You, take care. My Friend.

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